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Page Thirteen


I have tried many times to define Love.
Categorizing it at the very least, because things that are neat and tidy for me to organize always seem easier to understand.
To another person, trying to explain how one feels,,,feeling different than usual 99% of the time...kind of tingly, excited, full of expectation, smiling alot, lot lot for no specific reasons,,,all's well with the world and nothing else can bother me.
That is finding Love.
When looking for Love.
Not wanting to put up with toil and trouble that past relationships, not Love, brought,,, at that point, getting the 2 confused,,,trying to set up those secret "lists" of what it is that is being looked for...
Eyes, mind, behind, sense of humor, a good groomer...
Hot to trot, peaceful to just be alone with, would go home to parents or not,,,makes me feel special even not only when with but also without
How is Love defined?
Taking a chance? If it feels that good,
Roll the dice and let's start the dance.
How does one know? How does one not?
And what do you do when you are lucky enough to be able to reach out and touch something that can come along that route
only once...in a lifetime?
More questions...To sort, test and request.
Geographical limits get in the way,
something started, Routine, should what I have stay?
Getting older is too hard for change, is it within my "secret list" range?
Define Love, it is too hard to do,,,and the thought of losing it is part of the clue
I wish Webster or God could hand over an easy answer to what that concept is about...
One word can be defined if not the word Love
It is Regret
,,,One life, and one life only, is all that we get...



Let me save you from your nightmares....
the fears embedded in your mind.
I have to speak the truth this time and free the chains that bind you.
I search my memory for an answer that I would like to be....One that takes the blame off me..and sets my own demons free.
I could not make the choice...you see...
To live together...forever...happily.
The fears I had inside overtook my heart and robbed my mind of the most sacred part of my existence.
"Why?" If only there was an answer...Angels, I plead...speak to me now and tell the ugly tale of sorrow and regret that has imprisoned my conscience for years...tell of the fears, the lies and deceit I tormented myself with...and...lead to the defeat of the world I created I kneel before you now, head bowed and quietly ask for forgiveness...
Forgiveness for all the years of madness spent seeking an answer...that I knew...I slowly rise to meet your eyes..and confess..."It was I..I was to blame."
But the haunting question never dies..."Why?".






I looked in the water today. It was crystal clear. In it, I saw things that had no special meaning before. I saw light shining down...at least fifty feet deep and wondered why it fails to show through people sometimes... I saw a log in the water not floating but sunken...and wondered if it had beared so much weight that it just couldn't stand any longer...like people who fall and can't pick themselves up. And mostly...shutting out the light...and falling.


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Poetry by:
Jenny and Pamela

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Jenny and Pamela

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