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Page ThirtyFour


Things have changed.

The daily phone calls have been replaced by the silence of it's bell.

Early morning wake ups to hurry and talk are no longer.
In fact, it is days now and, even then, the excitement seems all gone.

I don't know why?

It seems to have started when you came back from your trip out of town.
Up on the icy slopes, did my memory get carried away, to be chilled down forever?

You left with your baggage and an excuberance to return home, to be in familiar surroundings to get back to our routine of not wanting to ever say goodnight ,,,goodbye,,,talk to you later...But you only returned with your baggage.

Somewhere you lost me and I don't know why.

How could it have been something I did? We were out of touch? Did you have long enough to stop your confused head-shaking about finding each other but not knowing where to place us?

Days go by now and it seems that even if I do get in touch with you, your welcome is cold and I seem to be a non-entity taking up your time.
Did you find that you have no place in your life for me now?

I wish you had thought about that before you found me again, after all of these years, for I have no icy mountains and my heart, which was growing in leaps and bounds, has been forced into a holding pattern.

Confused, dazed, enormously overcome with much needed happiness and joy. But not enough to miss the realization that something drastic has changed.

With you, not I but therefore We.

And I don't know why?

pamela-----some year March


Running on the beach with kites...
Tying them to our big toe
So that we could lay in the sun
And just let the world
Pass us by...

Do you remember?

Not knowing your away around
That town, another of our trips, that town,
You were successful,though
Getting us to the beach that night
Just to watch the ocean
And gaze in amazement at the stars
Because you knew we needed it...

Do you remember?

Do you remember how you used
To tell me you loved me
So much that
You never wanted to hurt me
Or make me sad...

Do you remember?

I do....

And now, it seems like a million years
(But who's counting)
Since I last saw you.
Maybe because we said our
Last goodbye so abruptly
Or maybe because it has been that long

Now I pass through the day
Crowding myself into a hole
Only to look out and see
Our eyes drifting away
I wish I were the wind...
Then I could carry you through Time
And still let you be free

I see all the years that have past
Slapping me in the face
Only to remind me
Of things, out of survival,
I forced myself to forget,
And mistakes that caused me
So very much regret

The joy, the jubilation
Of again finding, feeling each other's Love
Is overwhelming
But, is coupled with "WHEN"
It is convenient
And not for the needs of me

Is not an answer
That I can swallow
"BUT" is once forced on me
"BECAUSE" I know however we can
Change it all for a "WE"

My feelings, My heart, are at stake
And I realize now
That there is no doubt
I cannot should not have to
Handle all the ache

I see no hope
Your terms that have grown
I have to agree to
But,,,A Forever Mental Mistress
Is something that I just cannot be...


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Poetry by:
Jenny and Pamela

Imagery by Pamela

Jenny and Pamela

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